Monday, June 25, 2018

New Plan

Hello all! I know, I know, it's been forever since I've updated. There's many reasons for that, so, I suppose, let's just get into it.

I've noticed lately that I've really been struggling with writing. That's not to say that I've struggled with inspiration, story ideas, or desire to write. It's (unfortunately) a bit more existential than that.

While it's not something I generally talk about (who am I kidding? I am a ghost on social media and blogging) writing has saved me in a lot of ways. There's always been a lot of turmoil in my head and writing was the way I was able to sort it all out--it still is, if I'm being honest. It is something that gives me a lot of peace and helps me decompress and escape from reality when I need it. There is nothing more thrilling to me than creating a story and watching it unfold as I work on it.

Unfortunately, life does not always facilitate such hobbies.

Writing is difficult--ask anyone. It is time-consuming, stressful, and takes patience and self-discipline. These have always been hurdles I've been able to power through. Lately, though, they have become overwhelming. There is not one thing that has sparked this sudden struggle with writing. This has been a culmination of a lot of factors that have turned writing into a slightly-upsetting task to complete. This is one of the most difficult things for me to admit to myself.

My mental illness has reared it's extremely ugly head since the beginning of the year. It became debilitating for months and even though I am, once again, trying to claw back out of the dark hole that is my mind, every time I battle back, I end up leaving parts of myself behind. It is not something I purposely do. It feels more like parts of myself are beaten out as I try to survive these bad spells.

This time, writing has taken the brunt of my negative thoughts.

I don't like to complain, and I know I've used this excuse over and over again, but I am running myself into the ground with how much I have to handle day-to-day. Many who do not also have to battle debilitating mental illness would find my workload challenging. And it is wearing me down very quickly. The reason my workload has become particularly overwhelming as of late is due to family drama and me having to take over more responsibilities on the homestead and in the family businesses. While I am being paid for my work, it is only for a 40 hour week when I am putting in well over 100 hours of work in on all fronts (easily 17 hours a day). Despite getting some income, I am in one of the most expensive markets in the United States, which means it is impossible for me to support myself on that 40 hour week income. What is worse is that I am unable to take another job currently due to my responsibilities around here. All of this work has left me exhausted and unable to focus on writing.

Enter the other major hitch in my writing--support. No, I do not mean from readers. I am grateful for any attention my books get from readers, no matter how small. The support I lack is at home.

My family has not been accepting of my desire to be a novelist. That has been the case since I started writing when I was 14. My parents would brush it off as a nice little hobby but I should not devote any time or energy into making it a career. Months ago, whenever I said I needed to put some time in on writing, I saw how exasperated my family became, and within an hour, they were asking me to complete other tasks, telling me I could write some other time.

This has gotten worse as the middle of the year has come around and more changes in the family structure have started to come into being. When I told my family (in a very angry and upset way, I might add) that I should just quit writing, rather than ask me why I felt like giving up on my dream, they encourage it and said I needed to find something else that fulfilled my life.

After 15+ years of hearing that, I'm worried it's beginning to take hold.

I sit down to write these days and I feel as though I'm doing something wrong. That I'm a failure and there is no point to me writing anymore. It doesn't matter how badly I want to write or how many ideas I have in my head, I feel as though nothing I write will ever actually allow me to support myself, and I cannot think of anything else I want to do--let alone can do with my schedule, mental illness, and skill level.

As you might deduce, this has led me into a very dark place mentally. Unfortunately, considering everything that's coming my way in the next 6 months, I fear it will not get any better.

This is why I am afraid to say that I will likely be taking a long, if not indefinite, hiatus.

It is a very difficult decision for me to make, but I am afraid that it is no longer feasible for me to work on what I love. I say "taking a hiatus" rather than "I'm quitting" because I have to hold on to the smallest hope that, one day, I can try my hand at writing again. My only fear with that is that I will be even worse at it then than I am now.

Therefore, you can expect The Redemption, book 3 of The Faith Series, to be released sometime in July, and that might very well be the last book I publish. The Amiville comic will round out it's chapter, and then it too will go on hiatus, perhaps indefinitely. Even though I know I have ongoing series that are not complete (The Faith and Roadside Paradise), They were set up in trilogies. The first trilogy of Roadside Paradise is complete, and The Redemption will round out the first trilogy of The Faith. That will at least tie up some loose ends and give a small amount of closure to any readers who follow those series.

I know that there are probably less than a dozen of you who even follow my novels and read them, so I know I'm not letting a whole lot of people down. Some of you who read this and are close friends of mine might find this announcement to be out of the blue, but I have not discussed this with any of my close friends because I know that they would try to convince me to keep writing anyway, but I do not have the strength for it anymore--physically, mentally, or emotionally. My life is just not conducive to this kind of work, I know a lot of people who know me personally will understand what I mean by that.

Now, I am not removing any books from market, but I do not plan to put anything new on the market other than The Redemption for a while--at least through 2018 and possible 2019.

Anyway, after that very long, rambling explanation, I do want to say I am sorry to anyone upset by this decision. I know there aren't many of you out there, but I want you to know that I really appreciate all the support you've shown me as readers and fellow writers. It really has meant a lot to me, and I am sorry that I will not be part of this amazing community for...well, I don't know how long.

To all my readers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your generosity, love, and support through the years. To my fellow indie authors, keep pushing. Keep writing, keep chasing your stories, keep bringing your incredible ideas and stories to the world. You are all amazing and talented and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. (Don't follow my example! 😉 )

Again, expect Amiville to finish up through the summer and for The Redemption to become available in July.

Kj | Kyra

Sunday, March 4, 2018

March 4th Word Count Update

Whew! It's only been 4 days since I challenged myself to get back to writing regularly. While it feels like I could have done a lot better than I did, I am still impressed that I nearly managed 14,000 words in the last four days!

Here is an updated list of the word counts

-Inside, Alternate Part 3: 70,513 [+0]
-Inside the Silence: 104 [+0]
-Hiding from Sight (Roadside Paradise 4): 6,027 [+4,111]
-The Redemption (The Faith Book 3): 11,857 [+3,254]
-Project Preservation (New Project!): 481 [+0]
-“Secret Project”: 21,823 [+6,584]

To learn more, visit:

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Gotta Get My Act Together

Okay, everyone, this is just a test through March (for now) but I gotta get my act together.

For those of you who are subscribed to my monthly newsletter, you have a longer description of everything I'm working on lately. If you are not subscribed, you absolutely should be!

Click here to subscribe to my monthly newsletter!

I need to hold myself accountable, so it is time to start posting my word counts every week. I may do daily word count updates on Twitter, but here and on Facebook and Instagram, the updates will be every Sunday.

Here is the starting point:

            -Inside, Alternate Part 3: 70,513
            -Inside the Silence (Inside Prequel): 104
            -Hiding from Sight (Roadside Paradise Book 4): 1,916
            -The Redemption (The Faith Book 3): 8,603
            -Project Preservation (New Project!): 481

Happy writing everyone!!